Tuesday, March 25, 2014

空中

1.


从小就开始向往在云朵中漫漫穿梭的生活。

那时所知道的职业不多,当别人都在小学纪念册里的志愿栏写下
医生教师律师歌星明星的时候,
自己也似懂非懂地随波逐流,想起了TVB 电视剧《冲上云霄》的画面,
便歪歪斜斜地写下了四个字。

——空中小姐。

写完后我把头压得低低的,同学探头来问,嘿你写了什么呀。
我挥了挥手后,拿起橡皮擦赶紧擦掉。
然后填上

医生教师律师歌星明星作家画家。

冲同学露齿一笑。

不算高挑的身高,圆圆的脸蛋,砖块大的臀部,
厚厚的眼镜,笑起来只会眯成一条线的小眼。

小时候懂的事不多,上课无聊就只会跑去厕所学其他女孩子照镜子。
或许那时候想弄懂的,无非是自己吧。







2.



基于家境的关系,搭飞机的机会不多,
直到被派到外地吉打州念大学先修班,机票与巴士票价相差不远,
搭飞机的机会才多了起来。

而第一次有机会倚在机窗看蓝天白云,是在五年级那年。
刚好 AirAsia 有打折,就买了机票到浮罗交怡。

我记得当时那个兴奋的自己,还有年幼的弟弟和表妹。
那时的我已经爱上文字,看到座位前有个供紧急之用的纸袋,
捉起自己随身带着的钢笔,簌簌写了一首当年以为是诗却不是诗的诗。

启程的心情是愉快的,直到收到家里爷爷出事的消息。
飞机降落的时候,我第一次乘搭飞机的雀跃也一起落地。

也这么多年了,啊。




3.


喜欢蓝色,打从心里的喜欢。
不多修饰只有几片浮云的天蓝。
我说,喜欢蓝色的人向往自由。

空中小姐的梦想搁着一边之后,就是想去世界各个角落旅游。

我喜欢探索,没看过的食物都会不多犹豫地往嘴巴塞。
好吃就多舔几根手指,不好吃就喝几口水,漱漱口。

在机场待机的时候最喜欢做的几件事就包括了偷听别人说话。
听来自别国的口音,猜测他们的国籍,听他们的故事。





4.


后来,对于翱翔的向往就变成了一股对人生的热忱。
我想到另一片天空底下念书,去追逐别人没想过的梦。
那天几个学妹兴奋地告诉我说,她们以 Matrikulasi 的资格被好几间英国大学录取了,
打算在一毕业后就起飞,九月份开始她们的大学生涯。

我忽然想起我自己的那份大学通知书,我也曾经在这个门槛过,
只是这一次,我跨不去了。

我听着她们的感谢,剩余能做的,就是献上完全的祝福。
文楚说,每个人的故事都会不一样啊。

嗯,就等等吧,或许真的会有这么一天 :)





5.


三月发生了好些事,最多人探讨的话题便是跟失联十七天的马航 MH370 事件。
成谜的 239 条生命,终于在昨晚揭露了谜底。
目前无一幸存。

整件事故,在网络媒体、报章上看到的,
都是大家对有关当局的连连责备与质疑。
有说是劫机、坠海、引擎故障,猜测的版本诸多,流言谩骂也没停止过。
间中还发生了荒谬到让人喷饭的『巫师划船』事件,
大家一头雾水后也只能摇头叹气。

十七天下来,患难家属的眼泪大家看在眼里,
面子书、Instagram 里所上传的照片/自拍照都放上 #prayforMH370 的 hash tag,
或是到飞机坠海的消息穿出来后换上的 #ripMH370。

我想起了家属们皱起的眉头和涣散的眼神。
那颗颗带着期盼起起落落的心,
最终还是随着机身残骸沉入印度洋海床了。

有些再见来不及说
有些被悲恸我们谁都不会懂。

不清楚放上 #prayforMH370 #ripMH370 标签的,
是否真的有为乘客与工作人员们祷告,
或纯粹只是跟风。
也没有资格去讨论和对质网友们的真心与否,
只要有那么一秒钟,那份对于生命的醒悟有浮上心头,
就已足够。

政治与是非,请暂时放过难者家属吧。
什么赔偿金和官方合理的解释。
要检讨的地方多得是。




6.


眼看一场悲剧就要落幕了,
不过那些泪水,会一辈子一辈子留在难者家属心中。






Sunday, March 23, 2014

CCN 2014: The Wedding

Disclaimer:
Most of the photos posted below are not owned by me,
I apologize if I've used them without informing sowie :O





Have been blabbering about Chinese Cultural Night (CCN) since quite some time ago,
just in case you're not clear what it's about - 
It's one huge annual event which holds the breath of all of the Chinese students in USMKK 
(Whole Kelantan too, perhaps?).
It's a grand event which attracts up to 1000 and more audiences,
and this isn't made possible without a strong and dedicated production team.


In Dewan Utama, USMKK.





To make things short and sweet, according to the custom here,
1st year students are required to go on stage as performers,
whereas 2nd year seniors will be planning and directing the whole flow of the night,
which includes finding sponsorships, decorations, from top to toe.




Publicity department was so strong that as I passed by a nearby area from my uni, 
I could see my face (poster) being hung on big buildings, 
even on an ice box in the hawker center lol.

Sponsorship which helped to cover our T-shirts, meals and tickets.

Not forgetting super impressive Deco team after months of hard work!


And the theme for this year is called 『喜喜』, which means The Wedding.









There're so many things to write about, but to prevent you from dozing off,
I'm gonna try my very best to summarize and wrap up everything wokay :D





From the very beginning when I first knew about being selected to join the sketch team,
playing a major character named Mei, I was like,

DAHECK WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO MEEEEEEE

Was so shocked at the moment I knew about this as I have no experience at all in acting,
nonetheless on a big stage as such.
During audition I ranked sketch as my 5th/6th choice out of 9 if not mistaken and 
it never crossed my mind that I was so luckily being entrusted on this role.

"I'm so gonna screw myself.  Screw everything."

*smacks forehead*






Gave my so many first times, like:

Putting on fake eyelashes.

Wearing traditional costumes.


HAHA BIG FACE ON ACTION
#whychoosebigfacemeasactresslol #stillaquestion #hahadoubtful




Poster shooting.






Promo video shooting.


I could still remember the awkwardness on this very day when I gotta shoot a video with this fella named Derrick.
Gotta act as thou we were destinied lovers when it was the second time we two talked, 
and that we barely knew each other at all to have lovey dovey acts together.

LOL SO FUNNAY LA WE TWO.








As a typical Capricorn, I struggled my way to accept the fact that I would really need to jump out from my comfort zone,
even if it meant that I would have to leave my original circle of friends.
Five of my Diet Cantiks all went for the 24 Seasons Drums.


Their practice schedules were super hectic, 
4.30 - 7.00 p.m. then 8.00 - 11.00 p.m. since last year's November.
The bond became so strong as the time spent together was so long though there were hectic moments as well, 
physically or mentally.





But sometimes, losing is gaining, right?
Here I met these lovely peepo,
who I spend so much time with, reciting the same lines over and over again,
cycling and yelling at each other at midnight as we ended our sketch practices.

Behind the scenes :P















There were mistakes, knitted eyebrows;
Sudden changes and edits on scripts even until the very last moment before we go upstage;
But always, kind advices were the most we had - 
Never an emotional outburst shout-out-loud-pekcek-session by our very dedicated sketch director Christine :')







Throughout the whole process of learning on how to act,
there were times when I got really depressed with myself that I couldn't depict the character well in anyway,
no matter how hard I tried.

And the fear of disappointing our CCN's president Jonathan, 
my lovely senior plus stage director Angela,
and another sweet patient stage director Siau Fen;
Seniors like Ah Do, Ah Kam, Noelle and Wendy.
They'd given so much encouragement, time and hope on us,
but I was afraid if I wasn't the right person for this role after all.

And sometimes, I felt like there was no one I could tell.







During rehearsals.






Hairdo and makeup sessions were kinda torturing for me coz I was instructed to sit still -____-
Wasn't in an air-conditioned room lagi.
#hotweatherpffft


















Pattern pattern before we were being quaranteed - 
No electronic devices were allowed to be switched on from back stage to avoid disturbances to the flow.
Couldn't talk summore.

Moments of ganjiongness and sampatness before serious thing took place!







Opening ceremony of "The Wedding".






VIPs of the night.







Chopsticks as doorgifts.
Which brings the meaning of 成双成对 in mandarin, 
symbolizing the union of a pair of love birds.







Performances *Not according to sequence*


Modern Dance Crew







Wushu.






Traditional Dancers







24 Seasons Drummers.





Musical Team and USMKK Idol Dion (Bottom right girl)






Chinese Yoyo performers.







Backstage Crew.








Sketch family.







-Referring to the photo on bottom right-

(left to right sequence)
With Ke Jia as Mei's aunty;
Philip as General Zhao;
Boon How as the Emperor;
Huan Lee as Wife of General Zhao;
Chun Oon as Messenger / Army of enemy.

Derrick as Shang (the groom);
Me as Mei (the bride).




 Before marriage.





Just married.


Felt like a cosplayer that night when everyone was asking if I can take a photo with you.
A movie star or what lolololol





Was being joked by the others that I'm a one-day-old-bride.
 WOAH you know what, I JUST DIVORCED hahahahaha.






And all of us couldn't have made it through the night if it wasn't for these awesome people:
Ah Do, Noelle, Ah Kam, Christine, Angela, Janet, Andrew, Tong Seng etc etc.
Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.




Not forgetting this lovely director of mine, Christine.
I'm sorry if we made silly mistakes and probably weren't serious enough during late night/ early morning practices.
Though the progress didn't go as smooth as you expected at first,
hopefully the outcome that night will give you a smile on your face whenever you think about us.

Thanks for being so nice to us, bearing with our naughty craps :')






After the finale, I couldn't breathe when I saw this person standing before me.
One of my best buddies from KMK.
He joked that he would come but I never took him real anyway.



Talked through the night and I love spending time speaking nonsense and old days with this fella.
Thank you for coming all the way from Penang Ah Choo :')

And the hand-made bouquet of flowers by my dearest Wan Pei.
I cried like a baby on the spot and on my way back to university after sending Ah Choo back to Penang.
I gotta say, I really do miss you, much.
Thank you for being here, with me.








Met Stephen who's from KMK too, had a small small reunion here at Kelantan :D




Sin Chew Daily had been very supportive all the way long by publishing relative articles 
to help us publisize the event, 
and thanks to their effort, we hit 1400++ tickets!

OHMAIGAWD.







On the papers.

 

 HAHA AND MY SELFIE ON NEWSPAPER HAHA.











I doubted myself along way if I could do it,
I didn't want to screw this big thing,
I felt timid and the courage just went off when it was so near to the big day.

Still, when the right time comes,
I'm grateful that hard work do pay off  :')







Nahh, me in makeup.
Terrifyingly not me, so ladylike lol.


#fugly #ohmaigawd





Wanted to eat off all my lipstick so I could at least sip some water while waiting for my turn to go on stage.
Wanted to take off all the pins and hair sprays so I could feel air draining through my hair.

I think I still prefer big Ts, shorts and slippers like a kampung girl lol.

- Missed out a photo of me in another pink outfit haih -


HAHA BIG FACE STILL.

Now that CCN's over, I don't have a strong reason to keep myself thin anymore lol 
#badass.



Thank you for those who clapped and stayed till the end.

I'm a better and mightier person now bwahahahaha :)



#achievementunlockedyo




Thursday, March 13, 2014

片刻的沉淀

1.


也并非划清界限,只是偶尔也要踏出某个圈并不是件简单的事情。
就像当初要离开熟悉的家到外地生活那样,
要重新习惯的新事物开始的时候,一切总是比较难的。

可只要勇敢一些,所得到的,或许会是更多更灿烂的笑靥。
毕竟,天空这么大。




2.


距离大学那场大型的中华文化之夜,倒数八天。
要当个演员还是头一次。
在这么大一个舞台。这么重的一个戏份。这么多的观众。
虽然不是第一次上台,可在这种设定之下演戏,
怎么来说还是跟一堆人一起表演音乐的感觉不同得多。

有疲累。有害怕。
可比我累的人更多,烦恼的也更多。

啊,不过有考试。
半夜两三点才可以回房间,想念念书,不了还是先去睡觉比较实际,
明天再念。

啊,不过有乒乓比赛的练习。
明天就比赛了。

今天吃了 Sushi King,自己走了一下街,给自己好好沉淀一下。

大家一起加油。





3.


弟弟领了 Foundation 一部分的成绩。

除了惊讶,如果有个她在身边我一定激动得哭出来。
他的数学,从中四开始从来没及格过的高数,
现在在数学那一门课里拿了个九十三回来。

他跟我说,姐啊,A+ 咧。

我们家从来不鼓吹成绩册里有多少个苹果,
而是真的尽力就好。
这次,我看见他的翅膀已经准备好了,
下一次起风的时候就是他翱翔的时候。

真替他感动。

我还记得他说,姐啊,有一天等我有能力的时候,
我让你念你想念的科,做你想做的事,我都支持你。
那时的我不相信。

可现在。
好啦打住不说,想哭,不可以,要念书,等下有乒乓戏剧练习,时间不够用了。

好想给他一个大大的拥抱。
要继续加油 :))